Not growing weary in the waiting...

I feel like this is my current challenge.

We're waiting on so much...
   ...waiting to afford a vehicle
   ...waiting to see if my husband has a job in a few weeks
   ...waiting to find out how to deal with the Little Miss's seizures
   ...waiting to find out if we're moving or staying where we are
   ...waiting to make holiday travel plans because of the previously mentioned reasons
   ...waiting to think about baby #3 because of all of this uncertainty
   ...waiting to find out about my dad's health
 
Those are all really big things for us.

But, I'm waiting in the little things, too...
   ...waiting to go grocery shopping to see how far we can stretch our food from the last trip
   ...waiting for the kids to start playing together more consistently
   ...waiting for a big snow to hopefully push animals down for next hunting season
   ...waiting to decorate for the holidays in case we are moving soon
   ...waiting to dust because, frankly, I don't feel like it!

People say all sorts of different cliche things, like "God can't direct your path unless you're moving," or "The only way you'll know if the door is opened or closed is if you try walking through it."

All of the big things in the first list are kind of out of our control. We can't take steps of faith in them. We are really just stuck in a place of waiting for others to decide our fate.

It's really hard not to grow weary of the waiting.

It's hard not to get bitter/scared/frustrated that we live a lifestyle that provides absolutely no security.

A friend of mine and I were recently discussing how great people of faith were often looked at as being foolish.

Abraham almost sacrificed his son Isaac.
Then they came to the place of which God had told him; and Abraham built the altar there and arranged the wood, and bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Abraham stretched out his hand and took the knife to slay his son.
              Genesis 22:9-10 (Read the rest of the story. It's a good one!)

David danced like a crazy man.
And David was dancing before the LORD with all his might,... Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD...
              2 Samuel 6:14a and part of verse 16

Joshua was told to march around Jericho for a week straight playing instruments so the wall would fall when they hollered on the seventh day.
Then on the seventh day they rose early at the dawning of the day and marched around the city in the same manner seven times; only on that day they marched around the city seven times. At the seventh time, when the priests blew the trumpets, Joshua said to the people, "Shout! For the LORD has given you the city." So the people shouted, and priests blew the trumpets; and when the people heard the sound of the trumpet, the people shouted with a great shout and the wall fell down flat,..
              Joshua 6:15-16, 20a

Joseph married Mary anyway.
And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly... When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife.
              Matthew 1:19 and 24

But, I think the truth was that they realized God had their backs.
That no matter what the world said, no matter how the world defines success, security, etc, that God is the one who is ultimately in control of the end game anyway.
I believe they had a peace about the fact that God was working in the details, in the stuff we can't see, behind the scenes.

Yes, sometimes He tells us exactly what to do and gives us what we need to do it.

But, sometimes He makes us wait.
     and wait.
          and wait.
                and wonder how He's going to make it right.

The people in those examples I mentioned didn't have the details. They didn't know how God was going to fix it. They just trusted that He would. Even if it wasn't exactly how they wanted it to turn out.

In those moments, we probably look foolish, because with so much up in the air, shouldn't we be doing something?!

I want to do what God has for me.
But I really don't want to do the things He doesn't have for me.

What if He is asking me to wait?
What if I tried to reconcile all of these things and ended up messing up His plan?
What if, by not being comfortable just waiting for Him, I miss out on something great?

So, for now, I wait.

and pray for peace.

and wait.

Because I know that if I let Him work it all out for us, it'll end up so much better than we could've orchestrated on our own.

It always works that way.

-kt

Even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men shall fall exhausted;

but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;

they shall mount up with wings like eagles;

they shall fun and not be weary;

they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:30-31