An Open Letter...

to all my friends who don't have medically-fragile children,

   First, let me start by saying I miss you. This stage of life we're in, raising tiny people, can sometimes feel like a run-out-the-clock (until bedtime) sort of situation. I know we're both busy. I know life is crazy. It doesn't make me miss you any less. I think about you more than you know.

   I realize I am MIA from time to time. And, I know there are times you take that personal. I'd like to ask you to take pause before you let it hurt. It's not intentional. I promise. Sometimes I can answer your text right away. Sometimes I open it and immediately have to drop my phone and run. And, unfortunately, I never know which one it's going to be.

   I need to apologize. I know that there are times it seems like I think I'm superior to you because I'm going through something you can't understand. I'm sure I've unintentionally given off the vibe that "I know your life is stressful, but look how much more stressful mine is..." I also know I probably seem selfish because of how often I talk about my family's needs. You are probably tired of hearing about how hard my life is or how painful it is to watch my child go through this or how frustrating insurance and doctors and big pharma are. I'm sure you are tired of hearing the same prayer requests at every church service or prayer meeting (and if you're not, that's because I'm afraid you are so I don't bring it up anymore).

   I am really sorry if you've ever felt that way.

   I'm sorry for the times you have felt overlooked because it's 'always about me'. I try to not let this be the case. But, to be honest, when those moments happen, more often than not, it is a desperate plea for you to SEE ME. For you to notice me. To hopefully be understood on some small level. And, to be shown grace for all the times you've felt like I've let you down.

   Because the truth is, you can't know what this is like. You cannot understand. And, to be really honest, it hurts when you say you do. Because that's when I know you really don't see me.

   The really hard thing is that, as much as I want to feel understood by you, I know the only way for that to happen is to have you going through the same thing. And, there's NO CHANCE I'd EVER wish this upon you. I would never wish upon you the constant worry and wondering when the next seizure is going to strike and never being comfortable or at peace if she's out of your sight and the nonsense of dealing with medicine schedules and refilling prescriptions and fighting with insurance and doctor's appointments and tests and more tests and not enough tests and wondering why in 5 years we've never had her seizures under control and giving every ounce of yourself every single day just to have to do it all night too and yet fearing sleep and slides and swings and pools and bath time and food coloring and candy (and trick-or-treat and valentines and christmas candy and easter egg hunts and birthday treats at school) and trips in the car and having to go to meetings at school to educate the staff on epilepsy and emergency procedures and writing protocols and changing EVERYTHING every few months because nothing works and trips to the ER... so many trips to the ER and dealing with soiled bed sheets and clothes because seizures take away her ability to control it and holding your unresponsive child and not being able to hold your other children because this one NEEDS you again and watching her be unable to form coherent sentences even though you can tell she knows what she wants but cannot find the words or seeing her blue and convulsing on the floor and begging God to heal her because you know that every single seizure has the potential to take her from you forever and still always hearing "not yet."

   Nope. I really don't want you to understand that.

   I know there are things that you have experienced that I cannot understand because I have not walked through those same trials. And, I apologize for the times when I have cheapened your experiences by presuming that I know what it was like to be you in those scenarios or, worse... made you feel like that matters less than what I've dealt with. Please, please forgive me.

   So, I guess what it comes down to is this... dear friend, I'm asking for grace and patience. Before you allow yourself to feel hurt that I don't initiate, consider the possibility that it was a bad epilepsy night and we didn't get much sleep. Before you mentally roll your eyes when I start venting about things, please consider that I'm trying to let you in on a very challenging and painful thing we're experiencing and I'm trying to help you understand. Before you tell me you "get it" or that you understand, maybe consider the possibility that you don't. And, know that I think that's ok. I don't need you to understand. Some days it's all I can do to simply make sure my family successfully makes it through the day. If I somehow am blessed with the energy to not only go out with you, but also have the mental capacity to hold a grown-up and coherent conversation, please, at some point during our time together, just listen. That's all I really need. I need someone to hear the hurt, to hear the stress, to hear my heart, and to be ok with me just as I am that day.

And, please, always remember that (even when I can't express it well) I love you and am so grateful for your friendship.

The Big One

Friday.

A game changer.

The day of the big one.

Our daughter has battled with uncontrolled epilepsy for nearly 3 years.
She will be 4 years old in about 2 weeks.

She had a rough pregnancy, her first seizures on her first birthday, lots of testing and trips to Children's hospital, many different meds and treatments. She is my little hero.

The seizures are normally absence seizures. She looks like she zones out, spots on her face twitch, and just as quick, she comes right back and goes about playing.

But, this one...

This one was on the floor, convulsing, little lips turning blue, mommy calling 9-1-1.

This was scary.

*We're all ok now*

I've started Bible journaling.

I've had some trouble over the past couple of years getting into the Word.
It's hard with all these littles running about to find the time or energy to really study.

This has been a GREAT way for me to meditate on scripture in the midst of mommy hood.

I'm not super confident in my artistic ability.

But, this one, including her sweet little handprints, is one of my favorites so far.

When we were going through our crazy pregnancy with her, we were told we were miscarrying her. I trusted God to do what He saw as best, but I (of course) wanted this child to be healthy and whole and a part of our family.

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him."
      1 Samuel 1:27

In the next verse, Hannah is expressing that, because God saw fit to give Samuel to her, she would give him back to the Lord.

While we were pregnant, my father-in-law told us that our sweet Little Miss would be used mightily for the kingdom of God.

On our bad days, I struggle to see how that can come true, but I'm hopeful. I hope that people can see the way the Lord is giving us hope, the way He is sustaining us, the way He is protecting her and providing for us. I hope people can see that even on my darkest, saddest days, I still trust Him. I've honestly really been struggling, but I know He is good. I know He loves us. I know He cares for her.
I know.

Give us strength to be used by you, Lord.

"For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him.
  Therefore I have lent him to the LORD.
  As long as he lives, he is lent to the LORD."
       1 Samuel 1:27 & 28

I'm so grateful.
-kt

Weed Your Life

I've started gardening.

As a self-proclaimed "black thumb," I really have no business attempting a garden.

Yet, here I am, hoping against hope that I get SOMETHING out of the ground during harvest time.

We just moved to this home this past February.

I've heard it said that you should never plant in a new yard the first year you're there so that you can see what is already planted.

Do you want to know what's here?

Let me tell you what is here...

WEEDS!

Lots of them.

Everywhere.

But, I didn't know what was what so I took to Facebook for all the answers.
(I mean, who doesn't do that nowadays?!)
((Thanks to everyone who responded, by the way))

I quickly learned what to pull and what to keep.

One of my favorite responses was from our sweet friends and former mentors from Green Bay.

Lydia said this:

Mark always says anything you don't like or want where it is is simply a weed...pretty or not

I think that was really good advice. It made weeding a lot easier because I stopped being so concerned about what each thing was and started thinking about my garden and my yard as a whole. I started focusing on the end goal, my hope for my yard, what I wanted it to be like. This made every decision about every individual plant so much easier.

And then, one afternoon, with my hands in the dirt, I got to thinking...

Weeds tend to take up the nutrients and water that should be going to the plants that you intended to grow. If left unattended, they will take over and push out the good things in your garden.

So, we need to ask - What are the "weeds" in our lives?

These can be unhealthy habits, time-suckers, or even good things that are simply misplaced. Maybe you have too many things going on. Maybe you are pursuing something good, but it's just not the right time. Maybe you are letting yourself get distracted or lazy about something you need to be proactive about. It might be time to weed some of those out.

We have to get rid of the weeds so that the things we cherish have room to flourish.

I've been struggling with my identity for a while. Becoming a mom is hard. You go from carefully curating a collection of activities and experiences in your life to being completely at the mercy of each whim, desire, and need of a tiny human. I've spent too long thinking of all the things I can no longer do, the "me" I can no longer be. And while part of this is due to our relocation, much of it simply has to do with having three little kids that I am responsible for all day and night, every day and night.

As I was weeding in my garden, I began to think about my life. There are a lot of things I'd rather not do. Things that I wish were weeds that I could simply pull and throw in the fire. Sometimes there are days where I get overwhelmed with diapers and dishes and laundry and diffusing pointless fights and cleaning up unnecessary messes and wondering if my life currently means anything at all.

But, since those things are non-negotiable with tiny children, I need to be ok with picking a few things that I do want to be true of me and focusing on those. (There will come a time later on when they are older and I will be able to start doing some of the things I don't currently have time for.)

I need to rip out the real weeds, rip out the misplaced plants, and spend my time and energy on the few that I want to see succeed. I need to stop dreaming about what my garden will look like someday and start cultivating it to be the best it can be now.

And, just like weeding my garden with three small kids around, this will take time. It's going to take time to figure out what I want to make room for and what can be put aside until later. (I mean, it took me three days just to weed a tiny flowerbed in our yard. There's no way I'm figuring out my life while typing this blog post!)

It also requires maintenance. I walk through my garden every day to pull the little weeds that made their way above ground during the night. I know I will need to continually evaluate the things in my life to make sure they are taking the right amount of time and priority.

One weed for me has been technology. I love my time with my computer and my phone. I love social media, because out here in the middle of no where, it makes me feel somewhat connected. But, I also know that I can waste a LOT of time looking at screens instead of my kids. I have good intentions. Often I'm looking up ideas for things I can do with the kids or ways to make their playroom better or recipes to try for Evie. But, even so, I know I spend too much time with my computer and not enough with them.

So, that needs to get pulled (or at least pruned). And, in it's place, I've planted...

One fun thing - per kid - per day. 

I've been trying to do (at least) one fun thing, per kid, per day.
I'm not the kind of mom that is all tea parties and crafts and games and books from the moment they get up until bedtime.
I am an introvert by nature and with Evie's dietary needs, that would just be too exhausting.
So, this is my baby step.

Today was kicking a soccer ball around with Jake, painting with Evie, and practicing crawling with Izzie.

I know that to you moms who this comes naturally for, you're probably thinking how terrible I am for needing to be intentional about this, though I'm SURE I'm not alone.

Now, at the end of the day, no matter what else happens, I will be able to go to bed knowing that I spent quality time with each of my kids. It wasn't much. I know I can do better. But, it's something. They had my time, my attention, my eyes and ears, they had me for those moments. It has honestly made our home so much more peaceful during the day. When I do need a minute, they are more willing to give it to me.

Baby steps. Pruning. Pulling. Transplanting.

I'm going to be a work in progress, but hopefully my life and my days will start looking a little more like I want them to.

-kt

Sunday Fun Day! Are you in?

Well, I've been thinking about being intentional with my husband and kids for 2015.

It's July.

I feel like this year is FLYING by.

This is probably due, at least in part, to the fact that we moved again, we spent over half a month back in CO to get the Little Miss on her new diet, and then we were pretty consumed with the planning of and everything else involved in my little sister's wedding!

It's been good
    and hard
          and good. :)

But, now it's already July and I'm left feeling like, "what just happened?!"

Our house still isn't fully settled and there's tons to do outside and our kids are at the ages that require constant attention and the cows make it so our fences require constant attention (#ranchliving) and Evie's diet is intense and requires a lot of prep time and on and on and on....

SO! I've decided something.

Since Sundays are the only days my husband has off and since I really hate wasting what time we do have this him, I've decided that Sundays are going to be our Fun Days!

Traditionally, Sundays are supposed to be the Sabbath, a day of rest.
It's supposed to be a day to rest, to reflect. God the Father took a day to rest and we, as His creation, are to do the same. It is supposed to refresh and nourish our body and soul.

So, to refresh my soul, I've decided to give my husband, my kids and myself Sundays this summer.

I'm going to do my best to be prepared to enjoy them on Sundays.

We will be going to church on Sundays and I'm sure I will still use Sunday nights to prepare for the upcoming week, but as far as the better part of the day goes, I want to relax and enjoy my family.

Will you join me in being intentional about using your Sunday as a day of rest and play with your family? Can you put aside the to-do list for one day?

Join me by posting about your Sunday Fun Day using the hashtag #ourfamilysundayfunday
I can't wait to see what you do!

-kt

I am now a MAD mom

Many friends joined us in praying during Evie's last inpatient stay at Children's Hospital in Denver (Aurora) since it didn't go as we expected. So, here's a brief overview of what happened.

We've been trying to figure out Evie's seizures for two years now.

A while back, we had a spinal tap done that showed that Evie is "probable" for a certain metabolic disorder where her brain can't process sugar as fuel. Her seizures may be the result of her brain not getting fed. The idea of this diet was then put on the table as a way to properly fuel her body and brain with fat instead of sugar.

Kids who haven't been able to have their seizures successfully controlled with medicines usually see better results with changing to a Ketogenic Diet.

I guess I think of it this way... the rest of us can function properly on unleaded. Our sweet girl requires premium. ;)

So, we decided to give it a shot.

The view from our room

She fasted the night before we got there and drank a special shake during the first day.

We took lots of wagon rides and trips to the library and toy rooms.

We even had some special visitors!

The general idea is to starve the body to get it into a state of ketosis. This happens when the body starts using fat for fuel instead of the sugars we eat.

From WedMd:

Ketosis is a normal metabolic process, something your body does to keep working. When it doesn't have enough carbohydrates from food for your cells to burn for energy, it burns fat instead. As part of this process, it makes ketones.

We can monitor that she is still in ketosis by checking to see how many ketones she *expels* during the day. (I'll let your mind figure out how we'd test for that) ;)

The diet works on a ratio high in fat, moderate/low in protein and carbs. On the second day, I was taught how to use a special computer program to figure out the ratios. I then measured her foods to the exact grams or ounces on a scale. Her calories needed to be strictly limited, too, to maintain the state of ketosis. 

Her breakfast on the Ketogenic diet.

Unfortunately, she did not handle this diet well at all. 

The main staple of this diet is heavy cream. It's carb free and high in fat. But, we quickly found that her body aggressively rejects raw cream. (I can cook with it, but if it is mixed into anything cold - like using it to make creamsicles - her body expels it as quickly as possible.)

Our poor girl spent the next four days being so sick and out of it. 

I'll spare you all the details, but it was horrible. She wasn't herself. She refused to eat, drink, walk, etc. She was a sad, sometimes angry, limp noodle. She wouldn't even talk. She just cried, grunted, screamed. 

It was horrible. 

Dear Doc McStuffins, THANK YOU!

(why is it that kids look so much smaller when they are in those big hospital beds?)

So, the team decided to switch her to a Modified Atkins diet to see if that would help. 

The first smile I'd seen in 4 days... talking to her daddy. 

She would continue to have very limited carbs, but she'd be able to eat as much fat and protein as she wants and there would not be such an emphasis on the cream.

THIS GIRL. What a sweetie. She was so content and awesome so that I could focus on her sister.

Just about the time she started to rally, John was able to come up to be with us. By that point, I was was EXHAUSTED. I'm so grateful he came. 

Seeing him in real life (vs. talking the phone or video chatting) gave her the boost she needed to get well enough to be discharged from the hospital. 

We've been home for about a week and a half and she's doing really well! She was seizure free for a week and her seizures have been minimal the last few days. 

There is a lot of trial and error with this diet. We are learning and making adjustments as we go.

But, let me say this: ANY reduction in the frequency of her seizures is a WIN in our book. Her eyes are so bright and her sentence structure is already improving. She seems so much clearer. The fact that we saw a drastic reduction in seizures but then saw a few is not as discouraging as it sounds. She was having probably 100s per day and now we see 5 or less. So, yes, the diet may be high maintenance, but she is not on an extra medicine and there was not surgery or anything like that involved. We are SO grateful!

***Special thank you to my sweet cousin Bri, for spending time in the hospital with me and my girls, to Mindi and her family for taking the time to come down to say hi even though they have so much going on, Christine for always being a light in a dark time, Ric and Deb for your help, the Rieger's for letting John come down and taking care of our Jake, and to the greatest CA in the world, De'Ja.***

De'Ja and me when we finally got to leave.

It was a really hard 9 days and the diet is definitely requiring me to spend a lot of time researching, preparing, etc, but I'm so grateful for the relief it has provided Evie so far. 

Thanks to Children's Hospital in Denver and, more specifically, Dr. Park, Chelsey and Jenn! 

If you happen to run into a nurse, CA, CNA, etc, today, give them a hug. They are the unsung heroes of hospitals.

-kt

The Big Move to Big Sky Country

Some of you know that we ended up having to be out of our old place a week earlier than we had hoped, so we ended up getting some intense quality time with a sweet family in town! They took us (and ALL of our stuff) in during the transition time. 

Many thanks to Kelly and Katie Elkins for all the love and generosity you showed us. 

I can't explain how cared for we felt that week. There were lots of good conversations, good coffee, laughter, AND they really cared for me as we lost our sweet dog, Cooper Duke, while my hubby was out of town.

Thank you, sweet friends.

So many amazing friends showed up to help us load the UHaul in Lake City. We are so grateful. I got the opportunity to say sweet, intentional goodbyes to several of the women who made our time in Lake City so wonderful. I will miss each of them, as well as the ones I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to. Our time in Lake City was full of trials and tribulations and sweetest and friendships and good times and challenges and everything wonderful. 

The girls and I took off before the moving van was fully loaded because we had to pick up my dad from DIA. John and Jake were following behind in the moving truck with our horse trailer. 

Once we picked up my dad, we headed to the home of a former camper of ours whose parents graciously put us all up for the night. We felt so welcomed and blessed by them. They made us a wonderful dinner, provided such comfy accommodations, made and ate an amazing breakfast with us the next morning, AND gave us two horses. For real. I mean, geez. It was almost hard to leave. My dad, the girls, and I actually left later than we wanted to just because it was hard to leave. :) Special thanks to the Calhouns. We love you guys. 

That day was the longest day for us. We left the Denver/Colorado Springs area that morning, passed through Wyoming (where we stopped in the sweestest little town of Wheatland for lunch at Yacco's) and made it to eastern Montana later that evening. The girls and our puppy did great on the road. My dad and I were also able to have some really great conversations. I guess spending a day in a car together provides that opportunity. I'm grateful. It's not the kind of thing that happens when there are other distractors like tv, other family members, etc. This will be a sweet spot in my memory of times spent with my dad. We stopped in Miles City for gas and groceries before getting back on the road for the final stretch. 

We were relieved to find the beds made up and towels out for us in the bathrooms so we could just crash that night and deal with unloading in the morning. John and I have been mentally preparing for this move for a while so it all seemed normal to us, but it was fun to watch my dad discover what our lives were going to look like. 

One of the best moments was when one of John's new bosses showed up with his wife. They brought us a crockpot of soup... and three kittens. When my dad commented on how unusual that was, their response surprised him a bit: they are pest control. Ha! And, let me say, they are the cutest little pest control ever. ;)

Eventually we got everything into the house and it has been a slow process of getting it all settled. 

You know that saying, "You don't know what you've got til it's gone"? Well, I knew my dad was doing a lot but I didn't actually know how much until he left. I feel like I got so much done while he was here and haven't been able to do A THING since he left. Dad, COME BACK!

Thank you so much for all the help you gave us. The kids are still asking for you to come back. Just the other night when John asked Ev who she wanted to pray for, her only response was, "Papa Scott!"

So, anyway, be coming back here to see updates on the life of a cattle rancher's wife. I'm sure I'll be no Pioneer Woman anytime soon, but I will be posting pictures of cute cows. :)

-kt

Three

I've only been the mom to three kiddos for a month now, so I don't claim to be an expert here, but... here are some of the things I've learned this past month.


1. Us parents may be outnumbered now and we may have had to switch from man-to-man to a zone defense BUT we still have four hands between the two of us and there are only three of them so we still have the advantage... right?

2. 2-year-olds enjoy having a baby in the house for approximately 15 minutes each day. The whole rest of the day is spent in agony over the fact that they no longer can command mommy's full attention at any given moment.

3. Number 3 has the ability to know the second you are about to put food in your mouth and will demand to also be fed at that precise moment. Count on it.

4. With all the baby gear finding it's way out of storage, my otherwise uncluttered house is beginning to feel quite claustrophobic. I feel another round of purging, garbage and donations coming on... if only I could find the time...

5. Being SUPER INTENTIONAL about spending time with your spouse becomes even more important. Merely being roommates is unacceptable. We must be a team. And there has to be life-giving friendship and romance between the two of you or these days can get long and lonely.

6. Making sure the older kids feel connected to the baby at least once a day is invaluable. Letting them "hold" her or help with a diaper change (read: throw away the dirty one) makes them feel like they are important and they seem to love her even more in those moments. And, it helps them be more patient when she is taking me away from them temporarily.

7. Having some alone time in the morning before the older two wake is even more important for me now. I gotta get my game face on before the littles attack my morning. Otherwise, I feel like this...

8. Let people love you. Having help is not a sign that you can't do things on your own. It's simply an expression of the care that others have for you and, frankly, a blessing. Accept it.

I'm sure I have many more lessons coming my way, but this is all I have time for right now.
-kt

Cherry Scones

Let me start by saying this...

I don't like cherries.

There, it's out there now.

But, I really don't think it's my fault.

I blame cough syrup manufacturers.

Cherry-flavored medicine was one of the WORST ideas.

Although, I was very fond of playing Hi-Ho-Cherry-O upstairs at my grandparent's place.
Anyone else grow up playing that game?

Well, now that it's out there, I will tell you that my husband loves them.
A sweet friend brought us a bag that she got at a fruit stand and, I kid you not, he'd have eaten the whole bag (if his stomach wouldn't have argued with him about it later).

TMI?

ANYWAY, one of my favorite memories from my childhood was making scones with my dad. Our family recipe has worked for Chocolate Chip Scones, Blueberry Cinnamon Scones, Cinnamon Raisin Scones, and Cranberry Scones (sometimes with White Chocolate Chips, too - YUM!).

So, I thought I'd see what would happen if I tried Cherry Scones.

The beauty of this recipe is that you can add ANYTHING. I think the cherry scones would be great with dark chocolate chips added in but since I didn't have any, I used white chocolate chips.

Here's how it works:

Rinse off some fresh cherries.

Chop and pit the cherries until you have a cup and a half of chopped cherries. (At this point, I set them out on a paper towel to dry a little bit... it'll help later)

Place flour, sugar, brown sugar, salt, baking powder and cream of tarter into a mixing bowl or the bowl of a stand mixer. Stir to combine.

If you're not familiar with cream of tartar, here's a picture. (You find it in the spice aisle. A certain husband, who shall remain nameless, might have thought that I was asking for a kind of cream and spent some time in the dairy section. Oops.)

Dice 2 sticks of butter and add to the flour mix.

Now, the way we used to do this when I was a kid was by using a pastry blender and combining it by hand. However, I use my fancy stand mixer with the paddle attachment to blend it all together.  It should resemble small crumbs.

Beat one egg and one egg yolk and add that to 2 tsp of vanilla and 1- 1 1/3 C half & half. (This is where it gets tricky - Use 1 C for fruit scones and 1 1/3 C for scones with things like raisins, chocolate chips, etc - or if you live in a drier climate.) Set this aside.

Add the cherries and cinnamon (and I might have added some white chocolate chips, too) to the dry ingredients and gently fold together. (I only use the paddle attachment on my mixer when making scones with hard ingredients like chocolate chips. For the fruit scones, use a spatula and be gentle!)

Make a little hole in the middle of the dry ingredients to pour the wet ingredients into.

Gently fold together until mixed... It doesn't have to be super well mixed. And, having a few little chunks of butter is ok. Scones are very forgiving.

Cover the dough and put it in the fridge overnight (or if you make the dough in the morning, you can bake them that night). DON'T SKIP THIS STEP. It makes the next part WAY easier and you'll want the butter in the dough to be chilled again.

When the dough is fully chilled, turn 1/4 of the dough out onto a floured surface. There's no kneading necessary. Sprinkle a little flour on the top and gently pat into a circle until the dough is between 1/2 and inch and 3/4 of an inch thick.

Use a large knife to cut the circle into 8 triangles.

I use a spatula to lift them onto a parchment lined cookie sheet. (Let's hear it for parchment paper! WHY DIDN'T I START USING THIS STUFF A LONG TIME AGO?!)

In another tiny bowl, beat an egg with 3 tablespoons of water and lightly brush the tops of the scones with this egg wash.

Sprinkle on as much sugar as you're comfortable with. ;)

Here's what they look like on the pan before baking:

And, after being in a 425 degree oven for 13-15 minutes:

That, my friend, is a beautiful picture. A delicious, beautiful picture.

Serve them warm with a little butter melting over the top.

I often try to convince myself that these count as breakfast, when, let's face it, they are definitely a dessert... or snack... or anytime sort of yummy treat.

I did bring a few over to the friend who brought me the cherries and she gave me her seal of approval, so now I feel comfortable sharing the recipe with YOU!

Click HERE to download a PDF of this recipe card.

***I live at a very high elevation, so to adapt this, I only use 3 tsp baking powder, I used 1 1/4 C half & half, and I did a slightly heaping cup of flour for the 4th cup of flour added.***

Enjoy!
-kt