When life keeps knocking you down…

​Somebody asked me recently, “haven’t you guys been through enough?”

And, to be honest, sometimes it feels that way.

Being told we miscarried.

More seizures than we can count.

Rolling my truck off Monarch Pass. 

A ridiculous and unnecessary autoimmune disease.

Losing our support since the org that bought our camp did nothing with it. 

Cars that seem to enjoy breaking down. 

Nearly getting divorced 

Church wounds that seem irreparable.

Losing our workshop to a senseless fire right when we seem to start making progress. 

But, God.

Right?

How many times have you been told that?

How many times have you been bitter that you’ve been told that?

When we are in the valleys, and all we see is darkness, and all we feel is pain, it is not helpful for well-intentioned people to say cliches. 

The one I hate the most?

“God will never give you more than you can handle.”

I call BULLSHIRT on that one. 

The Bible actually tells us the opposite.

But, God. 

It’s not on us. 

WHAT A RELIEF.

Bathroom Makeover

 Our little homestead is a fixer upper for sure. 

One of the first projects I knew I wanted to tackle was my bathroom.

I use it every day and it just stressed me out. Ha

Here are the befores:

Here are the afters!

It's amazing what a can of paint can do!

The very first thing we did was raise the shower curtain. I spray painted the mirror and cabinet handles. Painted nearly everything. And, added some shelves and hooks. Tada!

I got these shelves off Amazon:

This hanging shelf came from Amazon:

Shower Curtain (also amazon, lol)

There are still some projects to do. Eventually, we will replace the counter and sink, the lights, the fan and all the trim. But, for now, I'm so happy with the improvements that 2 days work made!

Let's try these...

With H2O at Home leaving the US, I've had to try to find some comparable, SAFE products for my family to use. 

You can find the ones I know for sure I'll be using HERE. 

I'm just in the beginning of trying new products but I have already found a dish soap I will never buy again and one I'm ordering a 6 pack of. 

First, this... HATED it. 😂

It was thick, even when diluted. It seemed to coat the dishes and leave a gross film. I do not recommend.

Then, I tried this...

LOVED it. It's thin like the H2O one and it rinses really well but gets SUPER sudsy. Click here for a link to order a 6 pack for around $20! Yea!! 

You can also see the EWG report here which confirms that it is one of the safest dish soaps on the market right now!

Here are some things I've ordered that I will update you on ASAP:

Laundry detergent:

Dishwasher detergent:

Shampoo bar:

Stain stick (Netepur replacement):

I've also ordered a deodorant and a sleep salve that I'll let you know about if we like it! 😉

Sundays are for Setting up your Week

 

One thing I’ve done to set myself up for success is to take some time on Sundays to get prepared for the upcoming week. 

Here’s what I do:

1. Outline the upcoming week in my planner. I use inkWELL press* because it’s just. so. pretty. And functional! 

2. During this time, I also make a meal plan based on our plans for the week. This allows me to know which mornings I’m going to need to take a few extra minutes to prep the slow cooker. 

3. Then, I look through the cupboards and fridge to see if we need anything and place a pickup order for the next day. LOVE that grocery stores do this now. GAME CHANGER.

4. I fill up my pill organizer because if I don’t *let’s be honest* I will not take the time to gather my pills in the morning. I put my Monday pills in a little cup with a lid to take to work the next morning because I have one pill that needs to be taken 1 hour before the others. This way, I have NO excuse to take my meds/supplements. I’ve noticed a major difference when I slack on taking these things. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR - TAKE YOUR MEDS. 

5. One way I’ve simplified but beautified our home is to fill it with plants. I have chosen to surround us with succulents because they need the least amount of care. I can get by with only watering them weekly and Sunday is that day!

6. Then, it’s ME-TIME. Sundays are the days I redo my nails (that silver jar* there). My nails are weak and brittle and they actually hurt if they are bare so I found a dip powder that doesn’t require a UV light and for $26, I get about 6 months of manicures. No time at the salon for me! Love it. (The manicures can actually last up to two weeks but I love having a fresh mani each week)

7. We attend church on Friday nights so we can take Sundays to be well-rested for the upcoming week. So, I make sure to do a devo or listen to a sermon at some point on Sundays just to revive my heart before the week starts. 

8. Right after the kids are in bed, I prep my breakfast and lunch for the next day so that I can sleep as long as possible in the morning. I found great little reusable bento boxes at the store and both myself and my husband have found them to be great when meal prepping!

9. And, the best way to end the day well (and what I do every night, not just Sundays) is to close the kitchen at a certain time and use my trusty H2O chiffonnettes* to do one last wipe down of the counters and handles. Who doesn’t like waking up to a clean kitchen?! Then, once I’m done getting ready for bed, I do the same thing in the bathroom. Again, who doesn’t like waking up to a clean bathroom?!

I can see how you might think this is a lot. But, truthfully, each of these things don’t take very long and the satisfaction that comes from setting myself up for a win makes it all worth it!

Tell me, what works for you? How do you set yourself up for a successful week?

Products:

*inkWell Press - click here for $10 off your first purchase of $50!

*Revel Nail - click here for 10% off!

*H2O at Home - click here to see more! 

January 2021

2020 was definitely a year for the history books.

And, 2021 is starting as if there's some sort of competition between the back-to-back years. 

Here's what I know:

I can show up and do my civic duty by voting, but I am one person.

Obviously, nothing I can do will change or solidify election results. 

I can't stop people from storming the capital.

I can't heal all the brokenness in this nation or the hearts of those who live here. 

I really can't keep living in this desperate helplessness/hopelessness.

So, here's what I can do:

I can pray for our leaders. 

"First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, the two may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way." - 1 Timothy 2:1-2

I can teach my children to be kind and to love people both the same and different from themselves.

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:3-4

I can rest in the fact that God is in control.

"You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock." - Isaiah 26:3-4 

I can continue to grow and change so that I can make a positive impact on those who I am around. 

"...But we urge you, brothers (and sisters), to do this more and more, and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you." - 1 Thessalonians 4:10b-11

I can't control what I can control. 

"Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." - Proverbs 19:21

But, I can spend my energy on what good we can bring to our home, friends, family, neighborhood, schools, local restaurants and stores, and so on. 

"As for you brothers (and sisters), do not grow weary in doing good." - 2 Thessalonians 3:13

Maybe each of our influences reach further than we know after all...

"And let us not grow weary of doing good,... let us do good to everyone..." - Galatians 6:9 & 10

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to sho hospitality.

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Lie in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be conceited. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.' To the contrary, 'if you enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." - Romans 12:9-21

H2O at Home vs. Norwex: What’s the Difference?

 *this post was originally written by Rachel Swanson and published here. She has given me permission to repost my links.

Some of you have asked if H2O at Home is similar to Norwex.

I wanted to give you a factual breakdown of what I’ve found comparing these two companies that contain similar products. Do your own research if you’re not satisfied but here are some things to look at.

• H2O at Home submits their products to be regulated and approved by 3 European companies (Qualit France, EcoCert, and Cosmebio). Norwex has only 1 (but they do claim to have other built-in regulations within the company, just not submitted to outside companies for further review and certifications).
• H2O at Home has a less overwhelming catalog (less products) because they claim to focus on simplifying their products and formulating them for multiple purposes.
• Most of the H2O at Home products are less expensive and seem to provide better quality results, and you get the same amount or more than Norwex.
• H2O at Home products are mostly made in Europe, many with Fair-Trade labels. Norwex products are all made in China.
• Many H2O at Home products are fair trade, biodegradable, and made from the best organic/natural resources. Norwex…I’m not sure but I don’t believe they provide many of these benefits.
• H2O at Home is regulated by the Direct Sales Association. Norwex is not. Enough said.
• H2O at Home pays their advisors MORE in the mid to upper-level brackets than Norwex (I worked out the numbers which proved to be true for this). Norwex pays more for the initial start into the business (although H2O at Home is updating their compensation plan Jan. 2021 and this will no longer be true!)
• Norwex does offer an incentive where you can get your business kit for free (which is pretty cool), but if you don’t it costs more than H2O at Home’s business kit (only $119 but you receive over $450 worth of products!).
• H2O at Home is a Direct Sales company, NOT an MLM- Multi-level Marketing (doesn’t have the MLM structure); Norwex demonstrates an MLM company.
• They both provide great start-up bonuses in your first couple of months. Yay!
• This is my own personal preference but I like the look and feel of the company colors and the way H2O at Home lays out their products on the website (feels less overwhelming) than Norwex. H2O at Home is minimalist and modern.
• Again, personal preference, but H2O at Home microfiber cloths are softer than Norwex. (Many have said the same for this, too).
• Norwex has silver in their microfiber cloths that they claim self-clean within 24 hours (The science behind the anti-microbial properties of metal in microfibers is inconclusive. https://minds.wisconsin.edu/handle/1793/79905). These silver strands within the fibers are shown to wear out, losing effectiveness over time. Additionally, metal nanoparticles make their way down the drain and into water sources posing a potential threat to the environment. https://jab.zsf.jcu.cz/pdfs/jab/2008/03/01.pdf; H2O at Home says tests have shown no statistical evidence of metals being self-cleaning nor does it show a significant difference between microfibers without metals for self-cleaning. H2O at Home also believes based on some statistical studies that metals pose a risk to the environment which goes again their eco-friendly mission and standard. So H2O at Home provides an organic-based soap that cleans the cloths within 30 seconds (in my opinion, I’d rather have a clean cloth in 30 seconds than 24 hours), which has additional uses: remove stains from textiles, makeup from exfoliating cloth, remove bacteria from microfibers, etc. H2O at Home microfibers are some of the thinnest fibers available (makes them even more effective) and have a special patented ultrasonic cutting edge to prevent fraying of the fibers.

Regardless of what you use, both do a great job of ridding your home of toxic products and provide an eco-friendly alternative.

However, I chose H2O at Home because of some of the reasons above. It is better quality and lower cost, while lasting longer than other eco-friendly over-the-counter “green” products which makes my bank account happier.

Want to know more? Do you have further questions? What do you think? Do you use Norwex, H2O at Home, or a different product line to clean your home?

To find out more about H2O at Home and browse their products, click here! (I highly recommend the Premium Set as this will take care of 90% of your home cleaning and save you more money!) Want to sign-up for the business? Email me and I’d love to chat with you: Kelley @ gracefilledimperfection.com

Light

 

Tears stung my eyes while watching my youngest child singing the final verse of Silent Night, holding a candle near her sweet face. 

Have you ever truly thought about those last few lines?

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, oh, love’s pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

I imagine a calm snowy night. You know the ones. Where you can almost hear the snow fall. 

And, the moon is providing just enough light to see your path. Where the air is still and the world has seemed to stop for a moment. I imagine Mary holding Jesus. Him nuzzling into her breast. His little fingers searching, getting caught on his own eyelids and in the blankets, and probably Mary’s hair. 

The soft warmth provided by the animals and the light from lanterns or candles creating a very cozy atmosphere. 

But, Jesus. Her Lord. Her baby. Her Savior. 

How would this all work out? 

There were so many unknowns. 

Have you even been in the complete darkness? The kind of dark where you can’t stop your eyes from opening wider and wider as you are straining to see ANYTHING? If there is even the tiniest bit of light, your eyes are immediately drawn to it. It’s comforting. You move toward it. The darkness cannot hide the light. Any bit of light destroys the darkness.

The night Jesus was born, a tiny baby destroyed the darkness.

In my darkest days, I considered giving up. I had truly begun to believe that the world, my family, my children, would be better off if I didn’t exist. I was in the darkest of dark places. But, I had just had a baby. That little girl in the picture above. She was my light. She was a good thing I couldn’t take my eyes off of. I was afraid that someday, she’d blame herself for not being worth living for. She may not have destroyed my darkness (that came later), but she was a glimmer of light that God provided to pull me through some of my darkest moments.

And grace.

Do you know what that word means?

Traditionally, Christians refer to grace as unmerited favor. 

An undeserved gift. Unearned preferential treatment.

My Evie.

You can find more of her story here, but the short version is that we were told we miscarried her. My body went through all the steps of a miscarriage. We went back for an ultrasound to make sure that my body had expelled everything and yet there she was. A beautiful, 13 week baby with a strong heartbeat. 

Grace. 

I didn’t deserve to keep her. Many mommas have lost their babies. But, she was God’s great act of grace in my life. My undeserved gift. My reminder that I am seen by Him. 

That’s why Grace is her middle name. 

It has been quite the journey with her. Her battle with epilepsy has not been a walk in the park, but God still shows us grace everyday with her life. 

No matter how dark things have been in my life, there has always been a glimmer of light. Sometimes it’s small. Sometimes it’s been blinding. No matter what, it cuts through the dark. 

There were days when I lived with my eyes closed, ignoring the light in front of me. Afraid it was too good to be true. Fearful that the good thing would be taken from me. Convinced I didn\"t deserve it. 

But His grace was too good. It reached into my darkness. That little light could not allow the darkness to overcome. 

His dawn of redeeming grace entered my life and was undeniable. 

Open your eyes, friends, and embrace the gracious Light and His redeeming grace. 

He’s there if you want Him. 

I Am Not Special

 This week I attended the funeral of a newly 17 year old young man. 

His family shared that he had been struggling with depression and it was not clear whether or not he was taking his meds. 

I've been there. 

I spent 2 1/2 years in a dark depression where my mind was consumed with trying to plan a way to commit suicide that wouldn't look like I actually committed suicide. 

Depression is no joke. 

A friend of mine watched my kids so I could be fully present at the funeral. Upon returning to her house, we sat down with a couple cups of coffee and a tub of puppy chow (we're midwest girls at heart) and talked and laughed and shared moments of grace and understanding. 

These types of conversations seem to be few and far between, thanks to COVID. 

At one point, she shared with me an exchange that she witnessed between my two daughters. My youngest looked at her older sister and said to her, "Fine. If you won't play that way, I'll never play with you ever again."

Of course, my friend stepped in to coach my youngest through how to appropriately talk to her sister, but her reaction was, "Oh, thank God, it's not just my daughters who talk to each other like that!"

Sweet friend, you are not special. And, I say that with all the love in the world. 

You are not the only one whose sweet, precious daughters can turn into selfish little meanies. 

I think our lack of interactions with people in real time and the in tendency to withdraw to social media to decompress has left many of us feeling that despair that comes with truly believing that we are the only ones in the world dealing with our circumstances. 

Thankfully, you're not. 

Sometimes I am tempted to believe that no one else could possibly understand what it is like to have a child with uncontrolled epilepsy. But, I'm not the only one. And, it took until the LAST soccer game of the season this year for us to connect with one of our son's teammate's dads who has a son with a similar (and even harder) epilepsy diagnosis. This usually quiet father was surprisingly chatty once he found out that we understood what he's gone through and can empathize with him. 

I still struggle with depression and anxiety. 

Meds have been a God-send for me. 

Currently, I'm not walking through one of my dark times. But, one of the most important and life-changing things I learned after my darkest days stopped being so frequent was that I'm not the only one who has been there. 

I found others that could empathize.

I found others that made it through their dark times. 

Maybe I could, too. 

I am not special.

The truth is, neither are you.

Take comfort in that, friend. 

Every once in a while...

 ... I get the urge to unearth this little space I've buried. 

... I get the urge to write.

... I get the urge to express myself. 

Someday I'll have the words. 

Today, it's just comforting to know that this space exists If I need it. 

On the end of 2018

2018 rapidly came to a close.

So much so that I wrote this post and forgot about it until now... in February.
*palm smacks forehead*

Here are some thoughts on that...

2018 brought me so much that I never expected. I found myself in situations that I never thought would happen. Found myself doing things I had never imagined I'd do. Some things have made me incredibly proud; some have caused losses I never imagined.

We've moved our family to the city.

I have yet to make a friend.

I find my heart aching with loneliness but fearful of letting anyone in.

But Jesus,...

He has been such a sweet place of respite for me.

Gently reminding me of the truth.

I am forgiven.
I am loved.
I am of great worth.
I am accepted as the mess I am.

Feeling as if nothing is promised has led me to cling to the One who, despite knowing every thought/feeling, has no plans to leave. he has no plans to bring me shame. He desires for me to be whole and healthy and is willing to walk that path to wholeness with me. He is not ashamed to walk along side me. He is not afraid that I will taint His reputation. He is not afraid of my mess.

I wish I was being metaphorical when I talk about the accusers coming at me with their stones,

and yet, He comes... hand out to cup my cheek, staring into my weary eyes, and says, "sweet woman..."

He loves me so.

Now, the question is...
Will I be brave enough to say the things He's asking me to say?

When my critics and accusers come, will I back down?

This post is a first step.

Here's to new beginnings.

And, here's to those who join us and support us on the journey...

An Open Letter...

to all my friends who don't have medically-fragile children,

   First, let me start by saying I miss you. This stage of life we're in, raising tiny people, can sometimes feel like a run-out-the-clock (until bedtime) sort of situation. I know we're both busy. I know life is crazy. It doesn't make me miss you any less. I think about you more than you know.

   I realize I am MIA from time to time. And, I know there are times you take that personal. I'd like to ask you to take pause before you let it hurt. It's not intentional. I promise. Sometimes I can answer your text right away. Sometimes I open it and immediately have to drop my phone and run. And, unfortunately, I never know which one it's going to be.

   I need to apologize. I know that there are times it seems like I think I'm superior to you because I'm going through something you can't understand. I'm sure I've unintentionally given off the vibe that "I know your life is stressful, but look how much more stressful mine is..." I also know I probably seem selfish because of how often I talk about my family's needs. You are probably tired of hearing about how hard my life is or how painful it is to watch my child go through this or how frustrating insurance and doctors and big pharma are. I'm sure you are tired of hearing the same prayer requests at every church service or prayer meeting (and if you're not, that's because I'm afraid you are so I don't bring it up anymore).

   I am really sorry if you've ever felt that way.

   I'm sorry for the times you have felt overlooked because it's 'always about me'. I try to not let this be the case. But, to be honest, when those moments happen, more often than not, it is a desperate plea for you to SEE ME. For you to notice me. To hopefully be understood on some small level. And, to be shown grace for all the times you've felt like I've let you down.

   Because the truth is, you can't know what this is like. You cannot understand. And, to be really honest, it hurts when you say you do. Because that's when I know you really don't see me.

   The really hard thing is that, as much as I want to feel understood by you, I know the only way for that to happen is to have you going through the same thing. And, there's NO CHANCE I'd EVER wish this upon you. I would never wish upon you the constant worry and wondering when the next seizure is going to strike and never being comfortable or at peace if she's out of your sight and the nonsense of dealing with medicine schedules and refilling prescriptions and fighting with insurance and doctor's appointments and tests and more tests and not enough tests and wondering why in 5 years we've never had her seizures under control and giving every ounce of yourself every single day just to have to do it all night too and yet fearing sleep and slides and swings and pools and bath time and food coloring and candy (and trick-or-treat and valentines and christmas candy and easter egg hunts and birthday treats at school) and trips in the car and having to go to meetings at school to educate the staff on epilepsy and emergency procedures and writing protocols and changing EVERYTHING every few months because nothing works and trips to the ER... so many trips to the ER and dealing with soiled bed sheets and clothes because seizures take away her ability to control it and holding your unresponsive child and not being able to hold your other children because this one NEEDS you again and watching her be unable to form coherent sentences even though you can tell she knows what she wants but cannot find the words or seeing her blue and convulsing on the floor and begging God to heal her because you know that every single seizure has the potential to take her from you forever and still always hearing "not yet."

   Nope. I really don't want you to understand that.

   I know there are things that you have experienced that I cannot understand because I have not walked through those same trials. And, I apologize for the times when I have cheapened your experiences by presuming that I know what it was like to be you in those scenarios or, worse... made you feel like that matters less than what I've dealt with. Please, please forgive me.

   So, I guess what it comes down to is this... dear friend, I'm asking for grace and patience. Before you allow yourself to feel hurt that I don't initiate, consider the possibility that it was a bad epilepsy night and we didn't get much sleep. Before you mentally roll your eyes when I start venting about things, please consider that I'm trying to let you in on a very challenging and painful thing we're experiencing and I'm trying to help you understand. Before you tell me you "get it" or that you understand, maybe consider the possibility that you don't. And, know that I think that's ok. I don't need you to understand. Some days it's all I can do to simply make sure my family successfully makes it through the day. If I somehow am blessed with the energy to not only go out with you, but also have the mental capacity to hold a grown-up and coherent conversation, please, at some point during our time together, just listen. That's all I really need. I need someone to hear the hurt, to hear the stress, to hear my heart, and to be ok with me just as I am that day.

And, please, always remember that (even when I can't express it well) I love you and am so grateful for your friendship.

The Two Words that are Saving my Motherhood

I'll be honest, this whole being a mom to littles and having one with special needs thing is exhausting.

Especially since I'm one of those weird extroverted introverts.

I love and am so grateful for my friends, but I NEED peace and quiet to recharge so that I can keep loving my friends. ;)

I get frustrated with myself that my family gets the worst of me. But, for an introvert, it is so hard to have people around CONSTANTLY. And, when you're a mom of littles, there are no breaks... especially when one of them has health issues that require more hands-on than most other kids require.

So, I've had to develop some coping mechanisms.

One of those is simply showing myself more grace. Being ok with being the World's Okayest Mom.

But, another one of the BEST things I've done as a mom was actually pointed out to me by my husband a few nights ago. I honestly didn't even recognize that I had started to do this.

He thanked me at dinner for starting to do this simple thing with our kids because he knows it has saved a lot of frustration, impatience and yelling from happening in our home. (By the way, I'M the yeller,... not him)

My secret?

When the kids are whining or being rude or not speaking how we've taught them (i.e., please, thank you, etc), I simply ask them to "try again."

I'll say that over and over until they ask me the right way.

We've done this enough now that they get it and are usually giggling when they rephrase their question or ask it with a better attitude.

Also, I'm stubborn. (my pooooooor kids)
So, I don't budge until they've tried enough times to get it right.

There's no nagging, no impatience, no frustration.

Just, "try again."

And, then we all get what we want.

I get polite kids who are learning how to respect adults and get to experience grace.
They get a calm, kind, gentle momma who is learning to show grace to others (and herself!).

Win-Win

Try it out in your home. I bet it'll work for you, too.

-kt

I'm fine.

How often does this happen to you?

You run into someone... could be an acquaintance, could be a very close friend... and you ask, "How are you?"
And, they reply with the super vague, "Fine!"

It seems the closer you are to the person, the less likely you are to be happy about such a flippant answer.

But, let me give you something to consider.

As a mom of a child who has had a long battle with epilepsy, sometimes "fine" is all I've got.

Please don't take it personally.
It's really no disrespect to you.
It doesn't mean I don't trust you or that you are not close enough for me to be honest.
I'm not purposely withholding information from you as some sneaky judgment against you.

Often times there is just not a simple answer to that question. Kids with long-term health issues have such complicated daily lives that, especially in a store or a restaurant where I've run into you, I don't know what to share and what not to. I never know how many details people want.

Every parent with a kid who needs extra care has seen that look of terror in people's eyes when you start to share too much too soon and you realize too late that they were actually hoping things were just "fine."

And, do you want to know how she is or how I am or how our family is doing? Because none of those are mutually exclusive and ALL of those can be loooong answers.

If you really want to know, I'm happy to share. It's always a relief to have someone truly listen. I can put on the tea kettle or a pot of coffee. Just give me a 10 minute heads up so I can make sure my kids are also ready for a guest. (and bring donuts... or muffins... *wink*)

And, there are times when "fine" is the truth.

Every moment my daughter is not seizing on the ground, I am fine.
Every moment my phone is not ringing with school on the other end, I am fine.
Every day we get her out of her morning clusters in enough time to get to school on time not too late, I am fine.
Every day the red-tape isn't an issue and all the paperwork goes well, I am fine.
Every time I get to hear her giggle, I am fine.
Every day there isn't a new procedure or test or medicine to try, I am fine.
Every moment that her brother and sister are happy and feeling loved despite all of this, I am fine.

It doesn't matter what is going on with me most of the time.... I AM fine.

*NOT GREAT*

But, I'm fine.

The truth is, life is hard. We live in a fallen, pain-filled world. God didn't promise that life would be easy. He NEVER promised that He would protect us from more than we could handle. The exact opposite really. He confirms over and over in scripture that this life would be hard and full of challenges and He encourages us to face these things with courage and bravery, knowing He'd be right there with us, every step of the way...

"I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."   Jesus speaking in John 16:33
"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith,..."   1 Peter 5:8-9
"Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."   James 4:7
     *See? It's our responsibility to actively resist the enemy.*
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living! Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!"   Psalm 27:13-14

So, I'm fine.

God is with me.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."   Joshua 1:9
"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."   Psalm 147:3

Therefore, I'm fine.

I am fine.
   *promise*

So,... how are you?
-kt

Simple Saturdays - Finish What You Started

This simple phrase has been a game-changer for me.

How easy is it, as moms, to start something but find ourselves pulled in a million other directions?

I mean, just when I finally get around to *fill in the blank* the baby needs changing,
which makes me notice that the garbage needs taking out,
which makes me see that the rug needs vacuumed,
that makes me remember that I shoved things in the closet and I should put them back where they belong,
and then the toddler spills something,
and that makes me remember that I didn't wipe the table off after breakfast,
and the dryer buzzed so I throw the clothes on my bed and see that my coffee cup needs to be brought to the sink,
where I find more dishes that need washing,
but the kids are hungry so I need to make lunch...

and on and on...

and by the time the day is done, I have a bunch of stuff started, the house is cluttered, but nothing is done.

*sigh*

Enter my life-changing new mantra: FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED.

All it really takes is a little self-discipline.
You have to be ok with not getting A LOT done.

BUT, you get the satisfaction of knowing you actually completed something.

Some days, all I get done are the basics (preparing meals, doing the dishes, and general tidying).
And, some days, THAT'S OK!

This even applies to all those amazing working mamas.

Tonya Dalton of The Productivity Paradox (and the creative genius behind inkWELL Press) mentioned recently in her podcast that multitasking isn't really as productive as we might think.

"Experts estimate that switching between these tasks, this virtual tug of war that's happening right now in your brain, it can cause a 40% loss in productivity. You want to know the worst part? You tend to be more error prone. You're working slower and less effectively. People argue that multitasking is more efficient. They say, "I'm getting more done." But are you, if you have more errors, and it actually takes you more time? The more errors you have, the more you have to go back and fix those errors, instead of handling it one time, and being done with it. It's not really that efficient. The next time you go to multitask, ask yourself this, "Which is more important? To be efficient, or effective?" Because you cannot be effective, if your brain is continuing with this tug of war. Doing two things at once makes you miss obvious things." 

If I'm really being honest, I'd rather do a few things well than feel like I've started, but haven't completed, anything.

Don't you agree?

So, tomorrow, don't stress yourself out with a giant to-do list.
Finish what you started.

I promise you'll sleep better.
-kt

Rest

I figure that it's appropriate timing for this post since I started blogging regularly again at the beginning of the year and have since disappeared.

The last few weekends were crazy.

And, instead of stressing myself out to write something for all 5 of my followers, I decided to set an example of grace by showing myself some. Ha.

Plus, that first weekend was it was my birthday.

And, I'm tired.

Prioritizing sleep has been very important for me lately. The ironic thing about hypothyroidism is you can be completely exhausted yet unable to fall asleep. But, giving myself the opportunity to sleep is super necessary. And, as much as I hate to admit this, I get a much higher quality of sleep at night when I don't fall asleep to Netflix or Hulu. *insert sad face*

I am finding so much value in stillness and quiet. 

And, I don't just mean noise. But, quietness of heart and mind and soul, as well.

I try to take advantage of the quiet moments in my house so that I can quiet my heart and be more prepared for when the house gets loud and crazy again. Those moments are few and far between... and oh, so valuable. 

I am also trying to do so much more resting in the Lord and the unknown. Part of that simply looks like refusing to strive for the unattainable. So often I put more pressure on myself than ANYONE else does... including God. By showing myself more grace and giving myself more time, I also reduce the stress in my home. By not setting such unreachable standards for myself, I'm allowing my family to rest more, to enjoy our home, to just be.

(AND, one of the blessings of showing myself more grace and not filling up my schedule was that I had a whole day to work on curtains. Not the most glamorous of projects, but it makes our home so much nicer. I was able to hem our kitchen curtains, our bedroom curtains, and make curtains for our bathroom, bedroom and our girls' room! It's so fulfilling to have that off my perpetual to-do list.) 

Sure, I still want the sink to be empty of dirty dishes and the floor to be swept/vacuumed as often as possible. But, since those things are actually doable most days, it's ok! What's not realistic is to demand perfectly made beds and completely tidy, organized rooms constantly, or the opportunity to accomplish a bunch of tasks on my personal to-do list. There's no life in that. And, my kids are young enough that they're still learning how to do that anyway.

By being able to find rest in the mess (all the mess - spiritually, emotionally, physically, and in our home), we are learning how to really do life together. 

The time often comes for work. For decluttering. For teaching.

But, sometimes, all we really need is a rest. 

-kt

Current Favs - March 2017

I've never really been one to embrace something simply because it's trendy.

If I take part in a trend, it's because I actually like it.

(Which is why I'm always a few months behind. Ha. I'm a BIG fan of leggings now, but it took me a looooong time to even try them.)

So, I thought I'd share some of my current favs with you.
These are some of my tried-and-trues.

Clothing:

As I'm simplifying everything, I'm finding that I'd rather have one nice thing (versus multiple cheap things) because then I always know where they are. I'm less likely to misplace something because I'm probably using it.
So, these slippers won. They are wonderful. TOMS recommends sizing down if you normally wear a 1/2 size. 7 1/2 TOMS fit me perfect so I got these in 7s and they fit wonderfully.

Sorry they are hard to see. It's the best picture I have.
You can find similar ones here discounted on Zulily today.

Makeup:

Several of my friends have talked about wanting to find a tinted lip balm because lipstick can be drying and lip gloss can be sticky.
I found it!
This stuff goes on light, is not sticky, and adds a nice subtle color. I got mine at our grocery store, but I'm guessing in more populated areas, they are easier to find.
This one is Burt's Bees Tinted Lip Balm in Rose.

Podcast:
The Memory Palace

There is just something about this guy's voice and the music he chooses and they way he tells these forgotten stories that makes me listen to every... single... episode. He takes a topic that most people would know a little something about and finds a nugget of history associated with it that most people have NO idea about. Plus, they're short. They usually are no more than 15 minutes. Look it up. Listen to it. You won't be disappointed.

Music:

Elevation Worship station on Amazon Prime. I've had to "thumbs down" several songs and there are a few songs I skip past, but for the most part, this is goooooood music. 

Food/Drink:
Pomegranate Tea with a few drops of Lemon Essential Oil and a half of a packet of Truvia. I'm obsessed. John even asked why I was having this drink every night now. Truth is, I'm trying to snack less at night and this is a good way to have something sweet, fruity and delicious.

Blogger:
I have loved Emily from Jones Design Co, for a long time now. She has beautiful free printables and as I'm getting more into watercolors and hand scripting, I definitely enjoy her posts. Plus, she's adorable and a fellow young mom. Check her out.

I hope you like these things as much as I do!
-kt

Simple Saturdays: The Easiest and Yummiest Shredded Chicken Ever

This is absolutely the easiest (and one of the tastiest) recipes I make.

Four ingredients.

Chicken, water, onion salt and italian dressing mix.
That's it!

And, it's super versatile.

All I do is place enough chicken for our family in a slow cooker (this time it was one breast and 3 thighs, but it's totally your preference).

Add 1 cup of water (we need the extra moisture here at our high elevation).

Then, I sprinkle the chicken with a generous amount of onion salt and 1 package of this italian dressing mix. The whole packet.

If the chicken is frozen, I put the slow cooker on high for an hour before switching it to low.
It's a pretty standard slow cooker meal, so high for 4 hours or low for 6-8.

Then, shred and add more water as necessary.

Our favorite ways to have this are over rice or mashed potatoes or on rolls as chicken sandwiches.

My kids GOBBLE it up. All three ask for seconds, and thirds...

I like to double the recipe so I can do sandwiches one night and over rice or potatoes later.

Hope you love it, too!
-kt

Spiritual Health

How I'm simplifying in order to flourish....

I'm finding that there is a lot of self-discipline needed to maintaining a healthy spiritual life.

I have to be intentional about setting my mind on things above (Col. 3:2), letting no unwholesome talk come out of my mouth (Eph 4:29), putting the Lord first in my heart, mind and actions (Matt 22:37). We are to rely on God for so much, but we have to CHOOSE that.

It is not an easy thing to do as a young mom, when so much of my time and mental energy are taken up by other things.

So, as I'm simplifying the rest of my life, this is getting a makeover, too.

Worship:

One of the best things I've done recently is finding some new Christian music that I actually really like.

I'm a little picky when it comes to music. My husband calls my favorites my "weird music."

Sure I still skip a song here and there on the Amazon Prime station, but I love the sound of Elevation Worship.

My kids are even starting to learn some of the songs. I love that they sing along with me.

Music is such an easy way to keep truth circulating in your home.

And, I'm back singing on the worship team at our church... which just makes me feel so, well, like "me". I get slammed with doubts and insecurities all the time. I have no formal training. But, I grew up hearing my mom sing the harmony parts while we were in our pew at church and that became a natural thing for me. I know I need to branch out and sing the melody more often and with more confidence, but that will come.

Bible Study:

This is another area where I can't stress enough that you need to FIND WHAT WORKS FOR YOU... so you'll be less likely to give it up.

Not consistently being in the Word over the last few years really threw my faith into a tailspin. If you are not focusing on truth, lies will sneak in and start to camouflage themselves as fact. It is vitally important to our spiritual health to be in God's Word and focused on who He is and what He is all about. You can't believe something you don't know.

What works for me is to pick a topic each month, find a Bible reading plan about it and read a few verses each day. My favorite lists have come from Rachel Wojo (who even includes cute little printables) and the Bible Girl. At the beginning of each month, I write the passages to read on each corresponding day in my planner so I have no excuse not to read it. It's sitting right there waiting for me.

Fellowship:

We've gotten back into a small group since we moved back to CO. It's VERY important to be in frequent contact with people who you trust to speak truth into your life. People who you can trust enough that when they call you out, you are able to listen instead of get offended. People who you know have your best interest at heart, even in the moments when the truth hurts. And, people who can celebrate life's victories with you and help to carry you through life's tragedies and challenges. We were made to do this life in community. Find your tribe.

(Two of my favorite books on this topic are Waking the Dead by John Eldredge and Kingdom of Couches by Will Walker. Both are books that I intend to reread very soon.)

Prayer: 

Again, self-discipline. And prayer. Ha.

I've literally been praying that God would make me into a person whose prayers are powerful and effective. That He would make me faithful to pray when I tell someone I will. So far, He's answering that. And, I'm grateful. I want to be a faithful prayer partner for people.

I've also started using a traveler's notebook and one of the inserts is dedicated to prayer. It helps when I write and it's very encouraging to have a record of God's answers!

I hope you can find something to take from this little list of things that are helping me.
Be encouraged.
-kt